Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

Papa loves to put things on my head!!!

What a cool bike - he fits on it and it's for 1 and a half year olds!

Family picture after a hard day's work in the yard.

A few more pictures of our beautiful boy...

This is Cooper with his Aunt and Uncle "D."

Family picture after baby dedication at church.

Family pictures at the park.

This is Reaux holding Cooper (L) and his best friend Jack (R).

Cooper in his airplane

"A thorn to pin back the veil..."

The Thorn

I stood a mendicant of God before his royal throne

And begged Him for one priceless gift that I could call my own.

He placed it in my outstretched hand, but as I would depart I cried, "But, Lord, it is a thorn! And it has pierced my heart!

"This is a strange, a hurtful gift, that Thou hast given me."

He said, "My child, I give good gifts and gave my best to thee."

I took it home, and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore

As long years passed, I learned at last To love it more and more.

I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace.

He takes the thorn to lay aside the veil that hides his face.

-Martha Snell Nicholson

I just listened to a sermon by John Piper entitled, "To Be a Mother is a Call to Suffer," which my dear friend gave to me yesterday. Now don't assume, like I did, that this sermon is directed only to mothers, or that it addresses all the areas in their lives that they worry and fret over - it doesn't. It actually focuses on the "great reality of God's sovereign goodness in the bitter providences of our lives." The poem above sums up the sermon pretty well.

He begins with talking about a recent approach to teaching theology, which claims that "God doesn't know the future precisely because the future does not yet exist. Thus, while God is very good at calculating the odds, he still takes risks – especially in dealing with his free creatures."

As he continues through his sermon, he expresses his sadness that this approach is being taken and is being taught in seminary. He goes on to say, "And what makes the matter relevant this morning is that Christianity Today is exactly right to say, 'These theological debates have enormous implications for piety and pastoral care – especially for how we respond to the tragedies that invade our lives' (Christianity Today, vol. 45, no. 7, May 21, 2001, pp. 39-40)."

Throughout the rest of his sermon he refers to various stories of "tragedies," one in particular about a mother who was killed, with her baby, while sitting with her husband in a single-engine Cessna 185 floatplane over the jungles of Peru. The Peruvian Air Force mistook the missionary plane for a drug plane and opened fire. Missionary Veronica Bowers, age 35, was holding her seven-month-old daughter Charity in her lap behind MAF pilot Kevin Donaldson. With them were Veronica's husband Jim and six-year-old son Cory. The pilot's legs were shot and he put the plane into an emergency dive and amazingly landed it on a river where it sank just after they all got out. One bullet had passed by Jim's head and made a hole in the windshield. Another bullet passed through Veronica's back and stopped inside her baby, killing them both. At Veronica and Charity's memorial service, Jim was quoted as saying that the bullet that hit his wife and little girl was a "sovereign bullet." He was criticised for this comment in the media, but his grace and forgiveness are incomparable to anything I've ever heard. His entire testimony was filled with understanding, forgiveness....joy. He noted that the bullet stayed in Charity and didn't reach the pilot, who was seated directly in front of her. "A sovereign bullet..." A bullet that took the lives of his wife and child...yet he calls it sovereign, not stray.

John Piper continues to point out truths of why God does know the future precisely. Really I cannot summarize his entire sermon here. But, what got to me most were a couple of things: The poem quoted above and something Steve Saint said in his testimony at the Bower's memorial service: that to the unbelieving world PAIN is FUNDAMENTAL and JOY is SUPERFICIAL. But to followers of Jesus, JOY is FUNDAMENTAL and PAIN is SUPERFICIAL. It's just so comforting to hear that - so reassuring.

The period of time that we went through with Cooper recently, when we felt like "our world was crashing down on us," seemed so hopeless to begin with. But I just thank the Lord that He didn't let us stay there...in that state of mind. The doctors were trying to tell us that Cooper was going to have a pretty big thorn to deal with his entire, and potentially shorten, life. Thank God that he is okay. Thank God that he will walk and talk and play. But I really feel like the Lord prepared us to be able to say "Thank God!" if things would have turned out the way the doctors said they would.

I was in a state of struggle for a while - I felt like I was running from the Lord, trying to avoid Him for fear of what he may tell me - for fear of the "not necessarily good truths" about myself I was afraid He would reveal. I didn't want to give up control - control only I thought I had. I had a vision of how I thought our lives would be, and I lived like I could make them be that way. I desired control over every situation in my life. I believe now that that is where my struggle with fear and worry comes from. It's all intertwined - insecurity, worry, fear, control. I didn't want to let it all go. I thought that if I let the Lord take control, that I would be opened up to tragedy. A very confused way of thinking I know, but not knowing was and still is terrifying to me. Not being in control - it's so hard. But the ironic thing is that I never was and never will be in control of what I may think I'm in control of. The Lord was just waiting on me to fall on my knees and let him take the weight.

When we got the prognosis for Cooper, I knew for sure that there was nothing I could do to protect him or make him better. There was a huge potential for my child to have a thorn - a thorn I would not be able to remove. It was an initial feeling of helplessness. This child, that the Lord has so graciously blessed us with, might have something "wrong" - he may never walk, talk, and may have a shortened life expectancy. My worst fear was forming before my eyes and my "tragedy" was taking shape. I just PRAISE THE LORD for his sovereignty, for his grace, his goodness, and his enormous healing and comforting hands. We asked the Lord to heal our son, and that's what we believe He did. And every time I see Cooper smile, I know that he will be okay - that everything will be okay. His smiles are confirmation that the Lord is good and sweet and in control. It is in all of this that I understand what Steve Saint meant when he said that "Pain is superficial and Joy is fundamental." The Lord used the potential of this thorn to "pin back the veil" so I, so we, could see His sweet, beautiful face.


*If you want to listen to John Piper's sermon, here's the link.

Video of Cooper at Easter

Easter Pictures!

A couple links to watch a Cooper eat his chocolate bunny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_BiYkjJ-U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja-Glwhe6Bs

Some New Pictures

Some Encouragement

Well, Cooper went to the Eye Doctor today for a check-up on his lazy eyes. A month ago she had instructed us to make him wear a patch, alternating eyes, for an hour a day for a month. Well, as you know, life got a little crazy, T. and I got sick, etc., etc. Therefore, he only wore it for 2 weeks or so. Now, the doctor was very understanding about this and was very pleased with his progress even though. She wants us to make him wear it as much as possible for a while longer to continue to strengthen his eye muscles. The main thing about this visit was this, she said he made "tremendous progress" and she knew he would only get stronger. How amazing to hear that from a doctor! Not that I rest in what they say, but there have been so many negative attitudes lately - it was just nice to hear one say "good job."

I told her that I appreciated her encouragement and her response was, "Well, not only do I know you need to hear it, but his improvements warrant it." That was nice too...thanks doc! She definitely has a wonderful bedside manner and understands that we have feelings and needs too.

Cooper also got his picture taken with the Easter Bunny today...of course he was all smiles right up to the point that I put him in the Bunny's arms...little stinker. Here's the final picture.

Update on Cooper

hey all! i wanted to try and fill everyone in on cooper and let y'all know what we learned friday at his neurology appointment.

his blood work came back normal, (the blood work was checking for the metabolic and mitochondrial diseases/disorders) with the exception of one test called CPK, which was slightly elevated. this level is elevated in people with cerebral palsy - those levels are elevated into the 1,000s. cooper's was 420. the doctor likes for them to be less than 200. she's not too concerned about it, but will recheck again in a couple of months to make sure it's not elevating. his lactic acid levels were slightly elevated as well. she didn't seemed to be too concerned about this either. she said many things could cause this increase, including mishandling of the blood, which is what happened with another test that ended up completely botched. had some other test come back abnormal, she would have been concerned; but everything else looked good.

she is now leaning away from the metabolic and mitochondrial diseases/disorders.

cooper's EEG came back normal and showed no signs of seizure activity. praise the Lord! this was never a concern for me and t., but i suppose she wanted to cover all of her bases.

his MRI revealed a couple of brain abnormalities. his corpus collosum, which communicates between the left and right sides of the brain, is either not there, or is very small. now, this is the part of the brain that is sometimes removed from people who have severe seizures. the doctor said that many times, people who don't have it, would never know unless they just happen to have an MRI one day because of a stroke or something and just accidentally find out. they lead perfectly normal functioning lives. however, it can cause developmental delays. there is also another part of the brain (i don't know what it's technical name is or what it really does) that the doctor referred to as a "curtain." normally there is one curtain, cooper has two and there is fluid between them. this is the same situation as the corpus collosum - people don't even know they have this until they accidentally find it one day. they function normally; again, however, it can cause developmental delays. the solution for this...physical therapy, which he has been in for 6 weeks now.

the neurologist is going to be sending us to a neurosurgeon to evaluate the plates in cooper's skull to make sure they are not fusing together too soon. she also wants us to see a geneticist to further investigate stuff (that i don't completely understand).

we have been very encouraged by our physical therapist. she is very pleased with his improvements over the last 6 weeks and is confident that he will only continue to improve.

t and i consider this appointment to have been a good appointment. even though he has these "abnormalities" there is no doubt in our minds that he will be successful with his development. i know that he will walk and talk and run and play. i feel very confident and at peace with those truths. cooper is going to have to work harder than most babies to get off the ground (literally), but i'm so pumped to see what these trials will do for him as a person...as a man. i love knowing that he will be able to look back one day and have a testimony about how he overcame adversity and accomplished what doctor's thought he wouldn't. i'm encouraged every time i hear a story about a child doing just that. the faith, the strength, the will and determination of a child is amazing and like nothing else. what a pure and perfect image of God. how exciting to know that he was created in His image...that he was perfectly put together and has a perfect purpose. how exciting to know that he will touch so many lives with his life and his story and his strength. he has already blown me out of the water with his strength and his continued happiness. he has been such a trooper the past few weeks as he has gone through all these test, and i am inspired by him. this time has been a blessing to walk through, especially being able to walk through them with my amazing husband. it has made us stronger as individuals and as one. we have learned and better understand how to truly walk in faith. what joy i get out of this. i rejoice in what the Lord has done. our son is perfect and the Lord didn't forget anything when he formed him. i'm just pumped about the days to come and about all the times i know this little man will blow us away with his victories! i'm honored and thankful and blessed to be his mother.

1 chronicles 22 was a chapter i've found a lot of peace in, especially verses 9, 11-13, and 18. i just wanted to share that...

thank you all for your prayers and support. we truly appreciate all of you and are blessed to have you in our lives. we will keep you posted on what is going on with cooper. thank you again!

"WOO HOO!!"

**See 1 Chronicles 22 below...

1 Chronicles 22

1 Then David said, "The house of the LORD God is to be here, and also the altar of burnt offering for Israel." 2 So David gave orders to assemble the aliens living in Israel, and from among them he appointed stonecutters to prepare dressed stone for building the house of God. 3 He provided a large amount of iron to make nails for the doors of the gateways and for the fittings, and more bronze than could be weighed. 4 He also provided more cedar logs than could be counted, for the Sidonians and Tyrians had brought large numbers of them to David.

5 David said, "My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house to be built for the LORD should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. Therefore I will make preparations for it." So David made extensive preparations before his death.

6 Then he called for his son Solomon and charged him to build a house for the LORD, the God of Israel. 7 David said to Solomon: "My son, I had it in my heart to build a house for the Name of the LORD my God. 8 But this word of the LORD came to me: 'You have shed much blood and have fought many wars. You are not to build a house for my Name, because you have shed much blood on the earth in my sight. 9 But you will have a son who will be a man of peace and rest, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon, and I will grant Israel peace and quiet during his reign. 10 He is the one who will build a house for my Name. He will be my son, and I will be his father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.'

11 "Now, my son, the LORD be with you, and may you have success and build the house of the LORD your God, as he said you would. 12 May the LORD give you discretion and understanding when he puts you in command over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the LORD your God. 13 Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the LORD gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged.

14 "I have taken great pains to provide for the temple of the LORD a hundred thousand talents of gold, a million talents of silver, quantities of bronze and iron too great to be weighed, and wood and stone. And you may add to them. 15 You have many workmen: stonecutters, masons and carpenters, as well as men skilled in every kind of work 16 in gold and silver, bronze and iron—craftsmen beyond number. Now begin the work, and the LORD be with you."

17 Then David ordered all the leaders of Israel to help his son Solomon. 18 He said to them, "Is not the LORD your God with you? And has he not granted you rest on every side? For he has handed the inhabitants of the land over to me, and the land is subject to the LORD and to his people. 19 Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God. Begin to build the sanctuary of the LORD God, so that you may bring the ark of the covenant of the LORD and the sacred articles belonging to God into the temple that will be built for the Name of the LORD."

Our Perfect Little Baby Boy

I wanted to attempt to fill everyone in on what is going on with our little Cooper of late...I'm attaching an email that T sent out the other day. It pretty much sums up the situation with Cooper. Please read and I'll update at the end...

i guess some of you know already thursday (march 1st) was a bad day in the lusk home. if you don't, let me give you the run down quickly. thursday, we went to the neurologist at the request of our pediatrician. the visit was horrible to say the least. she basically told us cooper was going to be mentally handicapped, and even went so far as to say it could shorten his life span. all of this came as a great surprise to us because, in the past couple of weeks, he has taken great leaps in his development. (there is plenty of back story here that i am not adding so as to not bore you.) there is still a great deal of processing going on around here at what we heard at that visit yesterday. today (friday) we had our four month check up at the doctor and a physical therapy visit and a cardiologist appointment (at the request of the neurologist). the pediatrician agreed with the neurologist's assessments. the physical therapist was a little shocked being that she has seen the improvements i mentioned earlier and the cardiologist told us there is no problem what so ever with his heart - thank the Lord! so not a lot has changed, but there is a very unusual (Jesus) peace in this house today. rebecca and i are confident that the Lord has made no mistakes with cooper. we are also sure that, though they are educated, the doctors did not form cooper in rebecca's womb and they don't know the number of hairs on his head as the bible tells us God does. all in all there have been many tears and i suspect there will be more. but there has been one prayer rebecca and i have prayed from the day we found out she was pregnant to this day - that God would be glorified in the life of this little man. that prayer has not changed, the only thing that we have added is that God would be glorified in our response to all of this.
we are praying for a miracle and i ask that you would join us in that. thank you all for your prayers.

abide, T.

We have no new news - it's just a waiting game for now. He will have an EEG on his brain activity on the 15th and an MRI on the 14th. Then we will go back to the Neurologist on the 16th. He gave a lot of blood for tests last Thursday (March 1st) and it will take a couple of weeks for everything to come back. It is absolutely not for sure that something is "wrong" with Cooper. A drastic "prognosis" was made the other day, but we are confident and sure that the Lord is bigger than all of this and we know, that no matter where he chooses to take this situation, Cooper will be a testimony of his grace and his goodness. We know that he will astound us in his life - as he already has. I really just want the doctor's, our family, our friends, and anyone who hears of this to be amazed. We want there to be no other explanation for his life and his healing other than the Lord.

Again, we ask that you would pray with us and for our perfect little baby boy...for his healing and for God's glory and will.

Thank you all again. We love you and cherish you deeply.

Cooper Smiles!

Look at this beautiful little boy with a beautiful little smile!

Cooper at 3 Months

Here's our little darlin' at 3 months. Oh goodness; he's too cute!




















He has a perfect little mouth doesn't he? And, as I promised back in November, here is one with his eyes open...